Armchair Screenwriter: How I'd pitch the Wonder Woman movie(s)

Who Is Wonder Woman? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So the legendary Joss Whedon screenplay for Wonder Woman has been leaked online, so I'm blatantly using this as an excuse to dredge up my old Wonder Woman movie pitch I wrote on June 9, 2009.
---
A while ago, Rich Lovatt wondered whether we hadn't dodged a bullet in not getting a Wonder Woman movie. This week, Graeme McMillan over at io9 asked why Wonder Woman gets no love. Rich answered this first by saying what nobody is ever willing to admit about Wonder Woman, she's the world's most famous superheroine by virtue of seniority, rather than her actually being a great character.

Wonder Woman's origin is goofy, her powers are all over the map, and she doesn't have any great mission other than being a "warrior for peace," which is such a paradox it became a punchline -- from Batman, no less -- in Mark Waid's seminal Kingdom Come.

Batman, by the way, is the elephant in the room during this whole "Why can't we get a decent Wonder Woman?" movie conversation. Dark Knight blew the doors off the box office last summer, and in some measure legitimized superhero movies, largely on the basis of its dark, timely, political tones and Heath Ledger's post-humous Oscar buzz.

Thus, the world is primed for a high-profile, serious, major studio production of Wonder Woman. But, as McMillan pointed out in an earlier post, just because Wonder Woman is popular doesn't mean making a good Wonder Woman film will be easy. Nick Nadel over at Sci-Fi Scanner has 5 tips for making an awesome Wonder Woman movie, and I agree with four of them. Sorry Nick, but I'm keeping the Invisible Jet.

Okay, so enough stalling, what's my take on Wonder Woman?

The DC Comics reboot I wish had happened

Lee's depiction of DC Comics' Superman and Batman. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)UPDATE

Whatever you think of the recent DC Comics reboot (AKA DCnU AKA New 52), most of us agree that it hasn't been all that new-reader-friendly. The real goal of Geoff Johns and Jim Lee appears to have been attracting lapsed readers -- those of us that gave up on DC after one too many crossover events or needlessly grim storylines.

I wish DC had been serious about a bold story direction designed to attract new, first-time comics fans. If I was somehow granted carte blanche to remake the DC universe, here are the fairly radical changes I would institute.

Female superheroes who deserve their own movies (according to professional authors and fans)

Here's the sound of Marvel Comics head honcho Joe Quesada pulling the pin on a nerd-rage grenade and tossing it in our direction:

- In a chat [with Ain't It Cool News], Joe told me that he’d love to make a tentpole movie with a female lead, but that he really doesn’t think there is an actress right now who could carry it, or a character that would work either. I’m thinking I might agree with him on this one actually.

Okay, Joe, so you can't think of a single female character or actress worthy of a tentpole superhero movie? Here's the SF Signal Irregulars' collective response:

"Challenge: Accepted."

Stina Leicht, Jeff Patterson, Gail Carriger, Paul Weimer, Patrick Hester and I discuss not only which female characters and leads could carry a tentpole superhero movie, but also why poor ol' Joe can't seem to see the potential here. Get the full rundown in the Hugo-Nominated SF Signal Podcast Episode 131.

This is usually the part where I decry my own meager contributions to the topic and, compared to published authors like Ms. Carriger and Ms. Leicht, that remains the case. But when it comes to the underuse of superheroines in film, Joe Quesada is so wrong even I can make a few cogent points before succumbing to audible idiocy. Listen for yourself.

And, yes, the list goes well beyond Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Marvel or DC.

As always, my litany of previous SF Signal podcast sins are confessed here.

From Twitter 03-04-2011

Image via Wikipedia

• From Twitter 03-03-2011 http://dlvr.it/JDCYS
  
• Why Is A Treaty For Letting The Blind Have Access To Books Too Difficult, But ACTA Is Fine? http://dlvr.it/JFN7y
  
• TRAILER: Tron Uprising http://dlvr.it/JFVSx
  
• Friday YouTube: Wonder Woman Gets Locked Out of Her Invisible Plane http://dlvr.it/JFdgZ
  
• Seeing through the Clouds http://dlvr.it/JFlq3
  
• Apple Said to Negotiate Unlimited Downloads of Music Purchases (Bloomberg) http://dlvr.it/JFst3
  
• RT @backupify: Attending SXSWi next week? Join @backupify @hubspot and @oneforty for our Boston in Austin Happy Hour http://ar.gy/AYL
  
• Branded content: Shoveling sh*t or fostering solutions? http://dlvr.it/JG02S
  
• RT @atfmb: #FF @tn_tobias @adribbleofink @tordotSF @paulvaughnmac @daj42 @jamietr @lketchersid @jaygarmon @LeeThomasWriter @FredKiesche
  
• Dear Writer: I’m Sorry, I Don’t Have Time to CRUSH YOU http://dlvr.it/JHKwJ
  
• Is This Uncanny Valley-Scaling Robot Proof Of Our Impending Demise? http://dlvr.it/JHPNz
  
• iTunes to add unlimited downloads for purchased music, MobileMe going free? http://dlvr.it/JHT3S
  
• The rise of the 99-cent Kindle e-book | Fully Equipped - CNET News http://dlvr.it/JHXM6
  

Tweets copied by twittinesis.com