Monday, February 02, 2009

Childhoods plundered is the 2009 movie theme

The Super Bowl trailer for the upcoming Trek movie still looks like an action flick in Starfleet drag, but I'm such a loyal fanboy I'm powerless to resist. At least J.J. Abrams is trying to make a decent flick, even if he doesn't know how to do Star Trek. That said, the other childhood franchises-turned-movies shown during the big game can't make any such promises of faith or competence:

Are you sure Michael Bay isn't directing this? No, that's right, it's the guy who did Van Helsing. Joe fans, you're screwed.

I'll be the first to admit that the original Land of the Lost was trippy and weird and maybe not even good, but it deserved better than to be Anchormanned.

The first Transformers live-action flick was stupid, but pretty. Based on this trailer, they tried to go dark, which is a really bad idea when you're bubble-gum dumb to begin with. You can't do Dark Knight without plot, and you really can't do Dark Knight with a giant robot made out of other robots that fights transforming robots. Thus, Optimus Prime gets pwned.

Okay, so here's an idea, Hollywood. How about you stop mining my childhood for franchises you can remake into idiot movies! That can't be so hard, right?

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