Spoiler alert (n.) - A warning given to an audience that the following content or discussion will divulge plot details of a particular work of fiction. The term originated in online forums devoted to discussing movies, television shows, and books; if you have not seen or read the works under discussion, the spoiler alert warns you to proceed no further in the discussion thread lest you "spoil" the surprises inherent in any future reading or viewing experience. Tossing out spoilers without a spoiler alert is considered a serious breach of netiquette and geek civility -- to the point that Wikipedia articles describing many fictional works are required to exclude spoilers or to clearly segregate such content and mark it with spoiler alerts.
I bring it up because: The long-running plot-complex TV show Lost aired its finale last Sunday, and the web has been overridden with dissections of the series resolution. For those of us that have never seen Lost but may wish to view it on DVD or Hulu someday, the appropriate use of spoiler alerts is much appreciated, as was the case with reimagined Battlestar Galactica, The Shield, The Wire, and Sopranos finales before it. Basically, any cult-favorite show that has ended since the advent of Twitter in 2006 has been subject to a delicate balance of fan commiseration and judicious spoiler-alerting, as divulging too much via a social networking post can earn you ire and scorn from the masses, and divulging too little will miss the point. Such is the online geek paradox.
Reboot (n.) - A new version of an existing story or franchise that discards or ignores existing story continuity. This is different from a retcon, which sees much or all of existing continuity maintained, but with select changes in the backstory. Reboots start from scratch in many ways, and are sometimes indistinguishable from remakes. For example, the Ron Moore/David Eick reinvention of Battlestar Galactica saw major deviations from the 1978 original with main characters changing race, gender, or even species alongside the introduction of major new characters, settings, and themes.
I bring it up because: As we look back at 2009, this was The Year of the Reboot. Culturally, politically , economically, and spec-fictionally, so much was given the reset button it's hard to fathom it all. Sticking close to the nerd-o-verse, Star Trek was conspicuously rebooted, as was the classic TV series V. You can be forgiven for ignoring the painful cinematic reboots of GI Joe,Land of the Lost, Friday the 13th, and Astro Boy along with the second punch-to-the-brain installment of the live-action Transformers reboot. Even classics like The Prisoner, Day of the Triffids, and Sherlock Holmes weren't above the reboot footprint this year. The aforementioned, critically acclaimed Battlestar Galactica reboot -- which in many ways kicked off the reboot craze that dominated 2009 -- also drew to a close this year. Here's hoping that in 2010 we get a few more original ideas.
For those that need to catch up, here's Battlestar Galactica seasons 1-3 in 8 minutes. Now that we're all on the same page, here's my completely unfounded theory as to the outcome of BSG season 4.
That is to say, the division between "humans" and "Cylons" is a false one, because neither is any more or less human than the other.
Now, the whole "All Along the Watchtower" deal pretty much ended any speculation about who was a colony of who. Unless Bob Dylan or Jimi Hendrix was a Cylon--and possibly a time traveler--Earth preceded the Twelve Colonies. Whether Earth preceded Kobol is a matter of mild debate, but I don't think so.
Earth begat Kobol. Kobol begat the Colonies. The Colonies begat the Cylons. "All of this has happened before. All of it will happen again."
Now, this is pretty much consensus amongst BSG fandom. Where I fall into the wacko minority is in suggesting that nobody from Kobol, the Colonies, or the Cylon homeworld is human. Not in the descending-from-Earthlings sense. My theory:
Earth begat a race of artificial lifeforms, which warred against they're creators and set out for their own world, which they called Kobol. The so-called Lords of Kobol, inspired by Earth's Greek gods, thus made their own creations, who worshiped and served the Lords. These creations eventually despoiled paradise, setting off for their own worlds--the Twelve Colonies. Some, however, left for Earth, choosing to seek out their points of origin, and leaving signposts along the way (like the Eye of Jupiter and the plague probe).
The Colonists, of course created the Cylons, who rebelled, evolved, and found a plan. Along the way, they scoped out the repeating cycle of this generational drama, and are trying to "win" by exterminating their forebearers, either because that's how the script of past destiny says things must end--show me some living Lords of Kobol--or because that's the only way they can break the cycle and prevent their own successors from exterminating them.
Who succeeds the Cylons? Probably Hera, the hybrid child of Helo and Athena, though if Chief Tyrol is a Cylon and Callie isn't, that means their son is also of the Next Race.
Thus, nobody is a Cylon, because everybody is a Cylon. They're all post- and sub-human. If I'm right, when they reach Earth, they'll find a broken, abandoned place, filled at best with the Kobol refugees and pitiful survivors of the first exodus. It's not salvation, it's not paradise, it's a harsh dose of reality that both races are on their own.
Moreover, somewhere in the genetic imperative of all the children of Earth is this inherent need to return home. It's not just passed on from generation to generation, but from species to species. That's what "watchtower" represents, the (surprisingly catchy) siren call of Earth.
Oh, and since this is the last season, Roslin, Adama, and the Galactica all get 'sploded at some point, just to forbid any chance at a sequel (that's close to how show co-creator Ron Moore ended Deep Space Nine, with the band irrevocably broken up). And, so long as I'm making wild guesses, I'd say Lee becomes President, Kara becomes head of the military, and they still can never be together--by virtue of their duties.
Starting tonight, we'll begin to see if I'm right.
Image via Wikipedia 
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